Latest posts from "King Cricket"
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Indexed September 15, 2011
We’ve lived near Manchester Airport for most of our life and we have never seen a light in the sky quite like the one we saw last night. It was off-white, indistinct and almost certainly an alien spacecraft.
Aliens have, quite underst...(
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Indexed September 15, 2011
We ate some sauerkraut last night and there was something not quite right about it. We’ve not had the jar all that long and sauerkraut keeps, so it’s a bit weird.
Most of you will have reached the obvious conclusion upon hearin...(
more)
Indexed September 15, 2011
We were driving home tonight and one side of the road was closed, quite possibly as a result of the earth being thrown off its axis a bit last week.
There were so many people rushing home to catch the last three overs of the day that not al...(
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Indexed September 14, 2011
The County Championship will end this week, just so long as the world hasn’t ended before then. The excitement is ripping our reality apart at the seams.
When we got up this morning, we weren’t at all surprised to find that our...(
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Indexed September 14, 2011
We made ourself a cup of tea this morning, we started drinking it and then we went upstairs for a bit. When we came back down, the mug was empty. No-one else was in the house.
We know what you’re going to say. You’re going to sa...(
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Indexed September 14, 2011
We’re committed to documenting the effects of the climax of the County Championship, but we’re really starting to fear for our life now.
Last night, we heard screaming outside our house. It was these two girls and they were havi...(
more)
Indexed September 14, 2011
Okay, we don’t want you to worry, but things are really getting out of hand now. The nation is going FULLY MENTAL as we approach the climax of the County Championship. You’d better brace yourself, because the story that follows...(
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Indexed September 13, 2011
Maybe you were pipe-cleaner modelling or carrying out wig maintenance.
Here’s what you missed:
Vinay Kumar seemingly wearing clogs
MS Dhoni keeping without a hat on
Alastair Cook slogging a single to cow corner off the back foot abou...(
more)
Indexed September 13, 2011
We took a walk alongside the canal last night. At one point, a barge went past and the guy at the tiller was clearly SUPER EXCITED about the climax of the County Championship. He just had that air about him.
With the next round of matches ...(
more)
Indexed September 13, 2011
Up and down the country, people are SUPER EXCITED about the climax of the County Championship.
We were in the supermarket at the weekend and we saw this woman shopping with her kid. You could tell that she was super excited about the County...(
more)
Despite occasional accusations of journalism, we do not consider ourself part of the British press. We’d like to take this opportunity to distance ourself from two specific themes that are currently appearing in the cricket pages.
Ind...(
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Faith is what you need when you don’t have facts. More accurately, faith is what you resort to when you don’t have facts – ‘need’ isn’t the right word. Faith is a way of sticking your head in the sand and...(
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The summer of 2007. A young Kanye West was riding high in the charts and foot and mouth was sweeping the nation. In cricket, an India team featuring Rahul Dravid and RP Singh was touring England and enjoying a certain amount of success.
Har...(
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As in ‘returned’. He hasn’t got anklosing spondylitis or anything.
“He’s late to meetings, or he wears the wrong clothing to a function, or forgets his passport.” – Essex coach, Paul Grayson.
Ravi Bopara –...(
more)
That’s the premise of this piece that we wrote for Cricinfo.
It’s funny because Australia are really, really bad at cricket while England are amazing, so it’s ridiculous that the latter would ape the former. We thought we&...(
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Being stupidly fit is one of the greatest attributes a fast bowler can have. Accuracy and the ability to seam or swing the ball are entry requirements. Beyond that, you elevate yourself above your rivals by making the most of those strength...(
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Dear Short Ball,
I would be most grateful if you would come round later on. I will pull out all the stops for you. You can sit in my armchair. I will bring you drinks. I even have some of your favourite cake.
Don’t worry about replyin...(
more)
A lot of people quibble with the ICC’s Test rankings, but we think they’re pretty good. The rankings are more weighty than simply saying which is the best team at any given moment. They reward sustained excellence.
You can say t...(
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It is like being in a broken submarine at the bottom of the sea. England are the water.
England don’t hammer to get in. They just apply constant force. Every now and again, one of the Indian crew wonders whether they’ve somehow...(
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Even without Ian Bell returning to the crease after being run out, yesterday was an odd day’s cricket. In what had seemed a low-scoring match, England somehow scored over 400 in a day. There were four reasons for this.
Ian Bell
When ...(
more)
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